me, Dad, Mom
Some times life just isn't fair. If you've been reading my musings for long, you know that my Mom was in early dementia, when my sister whisked her away to Oregon, in Sept. of '09. Mom was yanked away from most of her family and friends, and the church she'd attended for over 65 years. You can read about it here. Mom did agree to the move, but I wasn't sure she understood what she was agreeing to.
Sharon, I, Oden, Mom
Since she's moved, Sharon and I went and visited her once. She really didn't know who we were, but had been told we were coming. Mom repeatedly introduced us as "relatives", instead of daughter and granddaughter.
Carrie, Erin, Mom, me.
The assisted living home Mom is living in is very nice, and that was one of the things we were interesting in investigating.
It's been about 10 years since Mom has remembered Bob's B'day, and about 5 years for mine. Last year was the first year we weren't remembered at Christmas. I always remember her, but I'm never sure she's received what I've sent. If I call to confirm, it's impossible to get the info I need. At this time in her life she seems to have "scripts" she's comfortable with, at least over the phone, and anything else is just too much.
My Mom is a super nice person. If you met her, you'd love her. She really lacked in the "mothering department", but not all of us are cut out for one of the toughest jobs in the world.
For Easter I sent Mom a large See's Candy Easter Egg, and she got it! I know this because she wrote a thank you note. {first time ever} But she mailed it to an old church friend, Mrs. H., she even put her friends' address as the return address. Mrs. H. was kind enough to look up our address, we're in the white pages, and send it on to me. She also wrote a note about how much she missed my Mom. She wondered if Mom and sent her a letter to our address. No, sorry.
Moms' note started with:
From Jan and Bob, then
Dear Jan and Bob
and ended with
Thanks a million, then
Love from Jan and Bob.
So sad.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing my life with me,
It's so hard to see a loved one decline mentally like your Mom. Our family is dealing with a SIL of nearly 50 years. She has been in an assisted living for 5yrs now...she knows none of us including her husband (my brother)it makes you want to cry when you visit her. So sad!
ReplyDeletesorry, this is another sad thing we have in common....
ReplyDelete:-}pokey
It is very sad inded. Big hugs going your way.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad for all of you. It is a hard and cruel disease to deal with. Mark's Mom is in the early stages and it is so hard to watch. I just don;t know what else to day.
ReplyDelete